Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Our girl's heritage

We have spent much time, particularly on long car trips or on evening walks, dreaming about ways to give our girl a special connection to her heritage. For us, this meant learning and teaching her about the customs and traditions of her home city, purchasing several small gifts when we pick her up in Asia so we can give her something from her culture each year on her birthday and for her wedding, and other things to give her a connection to her country. That was as far as we’d taken it until I picked up “Adopted for Life” from the library. Then the word heritage took on an entirely new meaning.

In the book, which is a great, but intense read (I need to just buy a copy b/c I’ll be forever renewing it otherwise!), author Russell Moore discusses the heritage he and his wife passed on to their two adopted boys. It had nothing to do with their country of origin, but rather, the family’s history. So, while we still plan to teach our girl about her country of origin, we will also tell her about her Great Grandpa Dick, who served in the navy in WWII and loved to patiently tend his garden and teach mommy how to shell peas when she was a little girl. She’ll hear about and meet Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Chris, who welcome us to their cozy Iowa home with delicious meals and the occasional snow shovel to free our snow-bound car on our cross-country trips to and from North Dakota. She’ll learn why Mommy draws stick people (they run in the family) and how Daddy bought and fixed up his first car with the help of uncle Rich. She’ll laugh when we tell her about the button that “fell in” Uncle David’s nose when he was about her age and she’ll have reason to be proud of her many relatives who have fought for our country’s freedom through the generations. Our daughter will not be a welcome stranger in our family – she will share our past and our future. How like us as children of Christ, who are sons and daughters sharing in the family inheritance.

In other news, our girl’s big brother Jackson is doing well and has just started kicking with more fervor, which we both love. We have just been referred to a local pediatrician who specializes in internationally adopted children. Several friends have also made recommendations. It can often be hard to determine what vaccines a child has been given and in some instances how old they are (country of origin estimates can be flawed), so we need to be sure our pediatrician has experience with the issues and questions that often arise. We figure it will be easier to think ahead and have the same pediatrician for all of our kids, so we’ll be making our final decision by early October. Recommendations are welcome!

Although this process is a long one, it’s been a joy to learn, prepare and pray about it. One of the best gifts we’ve received through this process is the continued support from so many dear friends who have given generously through prayers and financial contributions.
Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with us. Although we don’t post as regularly as our intentions would like, our girl is never far from our hearts. The encouragement of friends and family means so much and we thank you.

2 comments:

  1. Kim,

    I commend you on how much thought you've put into the process. I myself was adopted, although it was right out of the hospital, so some of the issues/challenges that you will have to address didn't apply.

    The biggest thing that I can offer is that you just work to make sure she realizes that you are her family and she is yours...

    I don't think of myself as adopted, or as an asian living in a white family, but instead consider myself, well for lack of a better term- myself!

    I have a biological mom and dad (and apparently biological half brothers and sisters), but they aren't my parents. The people I call mom and dad are the people that I grew up with and consider my family. In reality I've never had a desire to seek out my "other family". That's not to say I wouldn't meet them if they ever came looking, but I really don't have a need... my family is the one that has always been there for me and considers me one of them. (Although at times being an asian kid with the last name Shields has lead to some hilarious moments!)

    There will be challenges and obstacles to overcome, but unlike some orphans, your daughter will have a loving and caring of people supporting her and parents that are committed to making it work.

    I'll keep all of you in my prayers as things progress!

    ~Josh

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  2. Congrats on your adoption! I'm so happy for the both of you! I'm not adopted so not too much advice to offer, but I know you will do an amazing job with this little one and keeping her in touch with her heritage.

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